There are rich people weddings and there are rich people weddings and then there’s a rich people wedding with Hillary Clinton in a caftan.
She Who Would Be President has been called many things in her many decades in the public eye but fashion astronaut has heretofore not been among them.
And yet within hours of the caftan sighting, my newsfeed and email were overflowing with gushing praise from one fashion rag after another with breathless admiration for Madame Secretary’s flowy garb and style savvy. Rumblings of “best dressed” were being bandied about.
She’s probably kicking herself for not trying this a year ago. Who’d have ever thunk that her relatability problem could have been solved by a garment that flutters in the wind?
As far as being considered the best dressed guest at the super spiffy wedding of the 24-year-old daughter of one billionaire hedge fund manager (a big Clinton donor) to the 25-year-old son of another billionaire hedge fund manager (who gave Chelsea Clinton her first job), that’s quite an achievement.
This little shindig took place at the Wall Street outpost of Cipriani which is a suitable location for an event that sounds more like a corporate merger than the wedding of a bride and groom so young their pre-frontal cortexes may not yet be fully formed.
As someone much closer to the bottom 1 percent than the top, it always seems to me like all these billionaires know each other. And marry each other. And pal around at the weddings/mergers that ensue.
Case in point, Tiffany Trump was also a guest at the wedding. Any chit chat between her and Hilz must have happened in the loo, because there are no photos of them together that I can find. And apropos of nothing, Jennifer Lopez was also at the wedding. Which I suppose shows that movie star pals are among the many things billionaires collect.
But as surreal as Clintons and Trumps partying down together at the wedding of a couple of barely legals and the occasional movie star, on Wall Street, no less, the most surreal thing is that a woman who will turn 70 in a couple of months and has always preferred her clothing to be more of a uniform than a statement was able to outshine those movie stars and the daughters of those billionaires. And she did it by encasing herself in a big, fluffy kite of a dress.
At first, I thought her statement was that of a woman who no longer gives a crap and maybe wanted room for a second piece of cake if she felt so inclined.
And then on Tuesday, we found out from Mrs. Clinton’s minister that she has her eye on a new career as a preacher or some kind of spiritual leader. The caftan suddenly made sense.
Remember the old saying, “Don’t dress for the job you have. Dress for the job you want.” I think that’s what we’re looking at here.
Her caftan did have the air of vestments about it and it could very well have been the sort of thing a high priestess might wear to a formal occasion. Remember the gurus the Beatles department dragged around with them in the late ’60s. That’s the look.
Of course, a lot of people found the idea of Hillary Clinton as clergywoman laughable but if you think about it, she’s got the skill set down pat.
Preaching, like politics, requires rock-solid fundraising skills. The preachers I see on television spend a good deal of their time exercising their fundraising skills. I believe Mrs. Clinton has that one more than covered. She and her husband have been treating New York’s Upper East Side like their own personal ATM since the early ’90s.
Preaching, also like politics, requires convincing people of unlikely things. As a woman who has been under more or less continual investigation for almost three decades and yet still has many millions of people who believe her innocent of any wrongdoing, Clinton should have little problem convincing people of just about anything.
And she totally has the outfit.
Reach Bill Colvard at 336-415-4691.