How many made-up holidays do we need?

By Bill Colvard - [email protected]

I missed out on National Chicken Wing Day on Wednesday. The very same day came and almost went before I found out it was also National Lasagna Day.

So much opportunity for the festive celebration of food was missed.

If people or more likely, trade associations, are going to go to the trouble to make up imaginary holidays, they ought to at least tell us about them. It was also National Lipstick Day, and even as a non-user of lipstick, chicken wings and lipstick sounds like a combination directly from the island of bad ideas.

Every day seems to be National Something or Other Day and if a National Day isn’t enough, July is also National Hot Dog Month and National Ice Cream Month. I’ll admit that nothing says hot dogs and ice cream like July, except maybe August but August is already taken by peaches, catfish and romance awareness.

You can see what has happened. This National Day/Week/Month thing has gotten completely out of hand. Besides, August is a little late to be celebrating the glories of peaches, wonderful though they are and if anybody needs a whole month of Romance Awareness, their romance is probably unsalvageable.

Who decides these things anyway? Late July is not the time to be celebrating lasagna. It’s too hot. No way do I want to simmer sauce all day, boil noodles and then bake lasagna in the oven for the better part of an hour. Get back to me in January and I will be on that lasagna like Garfield the comic strip cat.

For that matter, shouldn’t National Chicken Wing Day be closer to the Super Bowl? Well as it turns out, that’s a separate holiday on February 7 called Super Chicken Wing Day.

Nobody even knows where most of these holidays have come from. Try checking out the origins of National Lasagna Day and you can find out lots of things about lasagna, like it was in a 14th century English cookbook which is kind of surprising and that is the favorite food of Garfield which comes as a surprise to exactly nobody but try to find out how lasagna got its own holiday and why that holiday is July 29 and you might as well be looking for the lost secrets of the ancients. Since there are no records of any local, state or federal designation of July 29 as National Lasagna Day, it’s sort of an “unofficial” national holiday.

At least the chicken wing story is a little less vague. As we all know, Buffalo, New York, claims to have originated the eating of chicken wings which is why they’re often called Buffalo wings.

Supposedly, Teressa Bellissimo created chicken wings at the Anchor Bar in 1964 when she wanted a quick late night snack for her son and his college friends and just deep fried some wings and then tossed them in butter and hot sauce. Granted, back then chicken wings weren’t used for much other than making stock so it could very well be true.

We do know that they really caught on and in 1977 Buffalo Mayor Stan Makowski declared July 29 National Chicken Wing Day. Although it’s a little unclear by what authority the mayor of a city declared a national holiday, that’s exactly what he did. So now thanks to Makowski, on July 29 almost 40 years later, we have an all-you-can-eat special at Hooters.

What with Wednesday’s full day of chicken wings and lasagna and yesterday being National Cheesecake Day, today is a little bit of a letdown. National Raspberry Cake Day and National Mutt Day just don’t have the same capacity to excite.

Raspberry cake is probably delightful but I can’t say I wake up in the night craving it. I love my mutt but I love him everyday. Maybe I should get him a card on the way home. But like me, he’d rather have chicken wings.

As a bonus, since today is the last Friday in July, we get to celebrate National Talk in an Elevator Day and National System Administrator Appreciation Day.

Mount Airy is not really big on elevators but maybe I could go over to Northern Hospital and strike up conversations with strangers in the elevator. I don’t even know what a system administrator is but maybe I’ll find one while I’m chatting with strangers in the hospital elevator. Hopefully before security escorts me to the exit.

By Bill Colvard

[email protected]

Bill Colvard is lifestyle writer for The Mount Airy News where he frequently obsesses about food. Reach him at 336-415-4699 or on Twitter @BillColvard.

Bill Colvard is lifestyle writer for The Mount Airy News where he frequently obsesses about food. Reach him at 336-415-4699 or on Twitter @BillColvard.

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