Gary Smalley & John Trent, Ph.D., wrote a powerful book a few years ago entitled, “The Blessing,” which dealt with the importance of being blessed by your parents. They make the point that “no matter your age, the approval of your parents affects how you view yourself and your ability to pass that approval along to your children, spouse and friends. Many people spend a lifetime looking for this acceptance the Bible calls ... ‘The Blessing.’”
The search for the blessing is not just a modern-day phenomenon, but it has its roots early in the Old Testament. We find a vivid portrayal of a person who was bypassed when it came time to receive the family blessing from his father. Esau, the first-born son of Isaac, was fully expecting to be blessed of his father, but Esau’s twin, Jacob, has usurped the blessing by tricking the aged and almost-blind Isaac into laying his hands on him and giving him the blessing instead of Esau.
When Esau eventually arrived to get his blessing, he was too late. The deed was done and Jacob was the one on whom their father’s blessing had been bestowed. Even though Esau sought a blessing for himself, it was to no avail and he was devastated. “Esau did receive a blessing of sorts from his father, but it was not the words of value and acceptance that he had longed to hear.”
The Importance of the Blessing Today
“Today, as in centuries past, orthodox Jewish homes bestow a special family blessing on their children. This blessing is much like the patriarchal blessing we were introduced to in the story of Esau.” This blessing has apparently been an important conferring of acceptance for children down through the generations. It has been documented that when children are deprived of “The Blessing” from their parents, it can cause incredible damage to their spirit, their self-esteem and their joy in life.
That is why it is so vitally important for fathers and mothers to definitely convey to their offspring that they are accepted and considered of great worth in the eyes and estimation of the parents. Of course, scores of folks somehow get through their early years and never hear “The Blessing” from their parents. Cult leaders around the country know how to tap into this void space in the hearts of young people and provide a sense of parental acceptance, affection, attention and affirmation. This is a major magnet for many of these cults.
If you are a parent, learning about the family blessing can help provide your child or children with a protective tool. Genuine acceptance will counter the longing for imaginary acceptance from a bogus source.
I wonder if many shipmates look back on a life where “The Blessing” was absent. Perhaps well-meaning, yet uninformed, parents failed in the area of showing acceptance, affection, etc., when it was called for and now there is an emptiness that has lingered for these many years. Is it too late to “make up for lost time?” I think the good Lord is well able to restore to us what the years have taken from us.
We should first bless and forgive, if need be, our parents for any lack on their part of failing to confer upon us “The Blessing.” Scripture is quite clear that we should honor our father and mother. We should also make a concerted effort to confer blessing upon our own children in every appropriate way. We ourselves should become encouragers of our family, friends and co-workers. There is something very significant and special about giving blessings to others. Our Lord Jesus said, “Give and it shall be given to you ...”
Shipmates, this abbreviated column may not hit home to many of you, simply because you had first-rate parents and you are able to rejoice as you consider their outstanding way of blessing you as you grew up in their home. Some of you may feel otherwise and many times have wished you could have received “The Blessing” referred to by Smalley and Trent.
A Personal Word of Blessing
May I offer a few words of blessing to you? First of all, you have distinguished yourself in the service of our country and proved many hundreds and thousands of time in countless ways that you have worth, merit, honor, character and integrity. In the United States Navy, you were placed in what some would call a crucible (or melting pot) to see what you were made of and how you would react to the greatest stress and demands possible. You came through with “flying colors” and you can hold your head up high.
Perhaps you lost sight of all the good things that were written about you in your service jacket (record). I recently dug up my old records after all of these years and was surprised to see what my ship’s Gunnery Division Officer, Lt. Peter Bloomster, had to say about my performance of duties. When he and I met at a ship reunion a couple of years ago, I told him, “Mr. Bloomster, if I’d known about the nice things you had written about me, I might have become a ‘lifer’ and stayed in the Navy.”
If I could speak personally with you, Shipmate, I would tell you what the great majority of Americans are thinking about you: “Thank you for your faithful service to our nation. We are immensely proud of you. May the Lord bless you abundantly and make you a blessing to countless others in your life.” Amen.
Dr. David Sparks is the pastor of Flat Rock Pentecostal Holiness Church.
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