I hesitated to write this column. I’ve agonized over it for weeks, even months, but then I opened my Inbox and there it was, two more dreaded chain e-mails. While I don’t want to hurt my e-mail friends’ feelings, I have to speak the truth, I would rather get no emails at all than an Inbox full of chain mail.

One chain e-mail said, “This is a Novena from Mother Theresa that started in 1952. It has never been broken. Within 48 hours send 20 copies (or as many as you can — it’s the effort and intent that counts) to family and friends. This is a powerful Novena. Couldn’t hurt. Can only help. Please do not break it.”

Another major pet peeve about chain e-mails are ones that end something like this:

“Today is ‘online buddy day.’ Send this to your online friends — even me, if I’m one of them.”

Why does “Online Buddy Day” happen like 25 times a year? My birthday and Christmas only happen once a year, so why does this fictional day go around so many times? Who knows.

Instead of getting chain e-mails, I would much rather get a short note from a friend telling me what is going on in that person’s life. Maybe they really need a prayer from a friend or just a shoulder to cry on. That I can cope with. But I am going on the record to say that send them as you might, I will never again forward a chain e-mail.

Some e-mails even try to guilt you to into forwarding them on by saying that Jesus said, “If you deny me before man then you reject me.” That worked on me at first, but then after the 90th e-mail of that type I thought, “You know what, I believe in Jesus and I know belief to be strong. Is Jesus really going to reject me if I don’t forward this e-mail?” And the answer was no.

My mother always believed in only sending along e-mails that she actually enjoyed and I follow the same principle. And here’s another principle that I believe will help unfortunate e-mailers understand what is acceptable e-mail and what is not.

If you won’t print out a copy of whatever the message is and place it on the desk of your coworkers or friends with your name attached, then don’t e-mail it. It’s a simple principle. Don’t do something over the Internet that you wouldn’t do in person.

Here is an example of what I think is the perfect thing to share with friends and coworkers.

How smart is

your right foot?

This is hysterical. You have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there are some things that the brain cannot handle.

You have to try this please, it takes two seconds. I could not believe this! It is from an orthopedic surgeon... This will boggle your mind and will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can’t. It’s pre-programmed in your brain!

1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY!) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there’s nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them, too.

Now that’s funny!

Mondee Tilley is a staff reporter with The Mount Airy News. She can be reached at mtilley@mtairynews.com or by calling 719-1931.