Cookie dough heralds society’s collapse


By Bill Colvard - bcolvard@MtAiryNews.com



A big scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough fills a waffle cone.


Bill Colvard | The News

The summer of 2017 will live in infamy as the moment in time when Americans collectively gave up, threw in the towel, put on our jammies and gave up all pretense of civilization.

In short, 2017 is the year we no longer felt the need to go to the trouble to bake our cookies, and instead simply dug into the dough with a spoon. Or scooped it into a cone when we could be bothered.

Cookie dough shops have been opening in major cities and in 2017, the cookie dough trend reached the tipping point and is poised to spread to the heartland. Unbaked: A Cookie Dough Bar, an online store shipping to all 50 states; Edoughble, New York and Los Angeles; Cookie Dough Creamery, Columbus Ohio, Little Donkey, Cambridge, MA, The Cookie Jar DC, Washington, DC, are a few early adopters of the trend.

And of course, DO (with the long vowel sound macron over the upper case “o” and pronounced “dough”) in New York. Like everyone whose business plan depends on a potentially fatal product, these folks made the claim that their cookie dough was safe to eat. They were promptly sued by folks they had allegedly made sick.

Food safety experts warn against eating cookie dough for two reasons; raw eggs can be contaminated with salmonella and uncooked flour can have e coli. Salmonella can make one sick within hours and e coli can take several days to do its worst so cookie dough can potentially pack a one-two punch of misery.

Licking the spoon and scraping the bowl have traditionally been the prerogative of the baker or the child assisting the baker from the beginning of time, but sometime in the years between the childhood of bowl-licking baby boomers and today, they have been warned of the potential horror of such risky behavior.

But in the way that risky fun often is sanitized and made safe for modern consumption, someone desperate for a risk-free fix of cookie dough, figured out it is possible to make cookie dough without eggs and claims have been made that briefly toasting the flour removes the danger of e coli.

DO uses a pasteurized egg product (“which means there is NO chance of salmonella,” according to the shop’s website) and heat-treated, ready-to-eat flour to make their cookie dough. Despite, or perhaps due to, ongoing litigation, they continue to claim their product is safe.

And if you are too lazy or impatient to bake your next batch of cookies, or perhaps simply yearn for a nice big comforting glop of cookie dough that can be tucked into without fear of gastrointestinal distress, the following recipe with its several variations is as good as any.

No promises, though.

Edible cookie dough

This recipe uses no eggs and toasts the flour to kill off any random bacteria that may be lurking there, making this dough safe to be eaten by both children and adults.

Makes 25–28 scoops of cookie dough in 30-35 minutes

Cookie dough can be made 5 days ahead. Store in an airtight container and chill, or freeze for up to 1 month.

For the Base Cookie Dough:

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, cubed

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup (packed) light brown sugar

1/4 tsp. kosher salt

2 tbsp. milk

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Spread flour on a parchment-lined rimmed baking sheet and bake 10 minutes. Let cool slightly (flour should still be warm to the touch), about 3 minutes.

Meanwhile, using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and salt in a large bowl until light and fluffy, 2–3 minutes. Reduce mixer speed to low and beat in milk and vanilla. Add warm flour and beat on low speed until incorporated. Increase speed to medium-high and continue to beat until dough separates, then comes back together, about 30 seconds. Chill 10 minutes.

Chocolate Chip Dough

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Mix base cookie dough and chocolate chips with a spatula in a large bowl. Using a small ice cream scoop or tablespoon, divide dough into balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Chill at least 30 minutes.

Cookies and Cream Dough

8 cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies, such as Oreos

2 tsp. vegetable oil

Crush cookies in a plastic bag until finely crushed. Mix base cookie dough, cookie crumbles, and oil with a spatula or your hands in a large bowl. Using a small ice cream scoop or tablespoon, divide dough into balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Chill at least 15 minutes.

Rocky Road Dough

3 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup mini marshmallows

1/3 cup almonds, coarsely chopped

1/3 cup chocolate chips

2 tsp. vegetable oil

Sift cocoa powder over base cookie dough. Add marshmallows, almonds, chocolate chips, and oil and mix with a spatula or your hands until incorporated. Using a small ice cream scoop or tablespoon, divide dough into balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Chill at least 15 minutes.

Oatmeal-Raisin Dough

1/ 2 cup quick-cooking oats

1/3 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

1/2 cup raisins

2 tsp. vegetable oil

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Spread oats and walnuts on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until walnuts are lightly toasted, about 10 minutes. Let cool at least 15 minutes.

Mix base cookie dough, oats, walnuts, raisins, oil, and cinnamon with a spatula or your hands in a large bowl. Using a small ice cream scoop or tablespoon, divide dough into balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Chill at least 15 minutes.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Dough

1/3 cup smooth peanut butter

1/3 cup mini peanut butter cups, cut into 1/8ths

1/4 cup hard shell peanut butter chocolate candies, such as Reese’s Pieces

Using an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat base cookie dough and peanut butter in a large bowl until smooth. Add peanut butter cups and candies and fold with a spatula. Using a small ice cream scoop or tablespoon, divide dough into balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Chill at least 15 minutes.

A big scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough fills a waffle cone.
http://www.mtairynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/web1_cookie-dough.jpgA big scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough fills a waffle cone. Bill Colvard | The News

By Bill Colvard

bcolvard@MtAiryNews.com

Reach Bill Colvard at 336-415-4699.

Reach Bill Colvard at 336-415-4699.

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