By David Broyles
October 10, 2013
All the Capital Hill capers of late, which seem like reruns to me, have knocked me off my game on important ceremonies for the impending winter. Alas, I am not a cold weather person. I enjoy spring, summer and fall and I have resigned myself to soldiering through winter because you need it to set up spring.
Sort of the April showers bring May flowers mindset combined with an Eastern yen-yang proposition that the good and bad are irrevocably linked. I haven’t made the ceremonial march carrying short sleeves and shorts to the basement cedar chest for storage which amounts to me giving in and saying heck, summer’s gone.
I liked a sign outside a local eatery which read “Fall’s here and so is grilled cheese and soup.” The newsroom has been heartened of late by the prospect of a new season of the Walking Dead, which many staffers enjoy. With our schedules we have to really put some thought into where we invest our entertainment time.
Some of us lately have been testing out Sleepy Hollow, but we feel Ichabod Crane is getting used to modern life way too fast. A recent episode where Crane expressed heartfelt thanks to an Onstar rep shows how wicked funny the writers could get with this — but there’s that Buffy The Vampire Slayer-like task of stopping the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse which sucks up a lot of plot time.
Of late, I have noticed more unprompted prophesy on a relationship between the wet spring and summer and a lot of snow and ice coming our way this winter. Likewise I have noticed a sort of slow simmering, frustration among people generally which is not being helped by our legislators and president who seem to be flailing about in a combination of the movie Groundhog Day and films where the zombies are not really intellectually gifted.
It’s that rerun thing again. I have heard for at least a decade the great cry uttered through clenched teeth of “throw the bums out” couched in a Horton Hears a Who sort of way with citizens being the ones on the dust speck. My wife’s clan has a unique political observation it shares which boils down to everyone wants to keep their own idiot but you have to get rid of yours. This is offered as an explanation for the apparent disconnect of saying you’re going to get rid of them and it just isn’t what’s happening.
That pretty well explains why the net effect over the past decade or so seems to be sending back the same pouting children who just can’t play well together. Is it just a type of optimism, a fear over the devil we don’t know, or are we dealing with zombie-like lethargy on the part of voters followed by zombie activity in the House and Senate? Hum-mm.
Naturally, this reminds me of a story from my youth. I found myself as a designated driver one fine summer evening in deep Southwest Virginia in an unfamiliar car on an unfamiliar road with a very hammered co-worker. The town’s nickname was Little Chicago so I was not about to pull over and ask for directions.
Due to the directions of my passenger and inexperienced driving on my part I suddenly realized (one third of the way across) I was going the wrong way on a bridge. My passenger squalled out our tragic doom while I frantically looked ahead to gauge traffic flow while trying to keep him from sliding out of his seat belt and the car window.
There was no traffic, so I stepped on the gas to cross the bridge quickly which solved one problem. I solved the second problem by crossing a median to get into the correct traffic lane. It was then a third problem occurred. A police cruiser popped into sight. Knowing I had just done a lot of no no in front of the Po Po, I informed my passenger I was pulling over to face a whole book of citations.
The officer calmly cruised by without looking. My passenger oozed out of the car, using the door as a frame to hang off of, and lofted a fist to the heavens while yelling to the officer “Hey, what does a (expletive) person have to do in this (expletive) town to get (expletive) arrested.”
That’s my question to all those considering not throwing the “bums” out this time around. If we have another spell of not following through, just what do you have to do in this country to not get elected if the current behavior isn’t enough?
Reach David Broyles at firstname.lastname@example.org or 336-719-1952.